


Three Times They Pretended They Were Married and One Time They Didn't

by Mira



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-04-24
Updated: 2007-04-24
Packaged: 2017-10-16 03:15:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/167821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mira/pseuds/Mira
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Teyla Emmagan, would you marry me for the purposes of this off-world expedition?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Three Times They Pretended They Were Married and One Time They Didn't

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [Lilac_Way](http://lilac_way.livejournal.com) for the [Sticks and Snark](http://community.livejournal.com/sticksandsnark/) challenge.

_The Second Time_  
"Oh, shit, not again; we're first-contact, why do we have to go back, goddammit . . ." Rodney trailed off when his three team members glared at him. Teyla was particularly offended and though she usually felt quite forgiving toward Rodney, this morning she found him less amusing and more annoying. "Um," he said.

"I am sure you have work in your laboratory," Teyla said, lifting her chin in deliberate imitation of Rodney. "Perhaps your time is better spent there than with your team."

"No, no, no, that's not, Teyla, really, you know I'm socially, uh, less than, no, it's fine. Really, it's fine. More than fine. Just, you know, a little embarrassing."

"Embarrassing," she said, and she really was becoming amused now, as she watched Rodney's face redden and his eyes widen. "You find it embarrassing to be thought of as my husband."

"No! No, god, no, Jesus, um, no, I'm embarrassed for _you_ ," he stammered.

John started laughing, and slapped Rodney on the back. "Nice recovery, McKay. You'll be sleeping in the spare room tonight."

"Shut up," Rodney said, and now he did look miserable. "I'm sorry, Teyla. I just talk before I think sometimes."

She dipped her head graciously.

"Too much talking," Ronon said. "Let's go."

Rodney sighed heavily, checked that his laptop was firmly velcroed into place, and stepped next to Teyla. "I am sorry," he murmured to her.

"I know," she said.

"Dial the gate," Elizabeth called, and the dialing sequence began. Teyla still found it amusing that they called it _dialing_ , when there was no dial to be manipulated, but she accepted the translation, as she accepted much about the people from Earth. Including, she smiled to herself, Rodney.

 _The First Time_  
The Vedarans were a generous people once they accepted you, though that was a challenge. Teyla remembered them from when she traded with her father, and had explained to the Atlantians that the Vedarans treasured relationships. Because none of the four of them were engaged in the type of relationship the Vedarans recognized, they had to, as John said, strategize prior to their first visit. _Strategizing_ turned out to mean tossing a silver disk into the air while Rodney called out "heads."

"Then I'll marry Teyla," he'd said when John showed him the results. "Teyla, is that okay?"

"What, not me?" John had pouted.

Rodney had slugged John's shoulder, and turned to Teyla. "Teyla Emmagan, would you marry me for the purposes of this off-world expedition?"

She had restrained herself and, rather than roll her eyes as he would have, she simply nodded. John and Ronon cheered and laughed, and that was that.

 _The Second Time, Redux_  
The Vedarans remembered them and welcomed them warmly, happy they'd returned. Teyla and Rodney given precedence, since they had presented themselves as what the Vedarans call the _yoke_ , and Ronon and John as their unmarried partners. Teyla was unclear whether the Vedarans practiced polyandry, or if the unyoked partners in the marriages were celibate, or formed their own sub-partnership. It wasn't something she'd thought to ask her father when he was alive, nor did she feel comfortable asking one of the Vedarans they traded with.

"Teyla!" the KeVara greeted her happily. "Welcome, welcome back! Welcome Teyla-bo," she added to Rodney, and smiled at John and Ronon. The three men bowed, each awkward in his own way, and Teyla suddenly smiled at them. When Rodney stood, his face was red, but then their eyes met and he beamed at her.

He leaned close and whispered, "Not too bad, being Teyla-bo here."

 _The Third Time_  
"Thank you, thank you, thank you for coming," Jeannie whispered to them. "I'm sorry to drag you all the way up here on your first visit to Earth, but dear God, I needed Mer's support."

"I am happy to be here," Teyla said, and Jeannie hugged her fiercely.

"Uncle Meredith!" Madison crowed, slamming into his legs.

Rodney winced at the impact, but obligingly swung her up. "Hello, little one," he said, and she kissed his cheek. "I remembered the rules."

"Presents!" she shouted.

"Madison," Jeannie scolded. "I want you to behave for Uncle Meredith. And this is Mer's friend, Teyla. Can you say hello?"

Madison turned shy and twisted her head into Rodney's neck. "Hi," she whispered.

"It is good to meet you, Madison," Teyla said. "Your uncle speaks of you often, and I have seen the drawings you send him."

She peeked at Teyla. "Really? The dog and the house and the blue kitty?"

"I especially liked the blue kitty," Teyla confirmed.

"Thank you, Mer," Jeannie said, hugging him and Madison all at once. "Thank you _so much_."

"Just my luck, to be on Earth in time for Aunt Grace's ninety-ninth birthday."

"Rodney," Teyla scolded.

"No, it's okay," Jeannie said. "She's _awful_. Just -- well, you'll meet her in a minute. But I owe you both."

"Can I have the Gerrit Dou?"

"One, we don't know if it's a real Dou, and two, no _way_. Grandma left that to me."

"You said I owe you." He looked down his nose at her, passing Madison back. Madison watched them both closely, her head swinging back and forth.

Teyla said, "Perhaps we should meet your aunt? I have never met a person of that age. It is rare on my -- it is rare where I am from."

Both Rodney and Jeannie looked abashed. "Sorry, Teyla," Jeannie said. "Please come in." She pushed open the door behind her and then entered the house. "This is our Aunt Grace's granddaughter's home." She whispered, "Maybe this will be, ah, amusing."

"This will be hideous," Rodney said firmly, and Jeannie smacked his forearm.

"Mer!"

"It certainly won't be _amusing_ ," he said.

Jeannie looked at Teyla and said apologetically, ""It probably won't."

"Still smells like cabbage," Rodney muttered, and Jeannie made a wry face. Teyla agreed that it smelled odd, but said nothing.

"Now, Aunt Grace isn't really our aunt," Jeannie explained in her normal voice, leading them through a series of rooms crowded with furniture, wall hangings, and small objects Teyla couldn't identify the purpose of. "What would she be, Mer? She was Mother's mother's first cousin, so she's our first cousin twice removed, right?"

"God, Jeannie, you know I don't pay attention to that stuff." He said to Teyla, "She's just always been in our lives, bossing us around. Drove Mother all the way to Vancouver for a while; that's where she met our father."

"Meredith Rodney McKay!" a woman screeched. From her tone and volume, Teyla understood that she was hard of hearing.

"Aunt Grace," Rodney bellowed.

Teyla felt her eyes widen at the sight of Aunt Grace. Rather than being a tiny, wizened woman, she was as tall as Jeannie and much broader. She had, Teyla thought, a formidable bosom, across which were strung many strands of white stones, which also hung from her ears. On either side of her were smaller replications of herself. Teyla realized she'd been expecting another Charin, not this person.

Aunt Grace seized Rodney and hugged him tightly. "Where have you been, young man? I haven't seen you since you were skinny and blond! Were you on drugs then? You looked like a druggy. You wore woman's cosmetics. Scandalized Ruthie here, didn't he, Ruth?"

Ruth, the woman on Aunt Grace's left, shrugged. "You were a hellion," she said to Rodney, and kissed his cheek. She was smoking a tube of something; Teyla watched her move the burning embers to her mouth and exhale through her nose.

"Aunt Grace, I want you to meet --" Rodney began, but Aunt Grace had already spotted her.

She screeched. "Dear Lord preserve us, you finally got married! Thank heavens, I thought you were queer. Didn't I say that, Randy?" The woman on Aunt Grace's left rolled her eyes at Teyla.

"Every day and twice on Sunday, Grandma," she boomed.

"And now you have a wife!" Aunt Grace said. She staggered a bit and Ruth and Randy and Rodney grabbed at her, steadying her. "Let me see her. Oh, you are a mite of a thing, dear girl. What's your name?"

"Teyla Emmagan," Teyla pronounced as carefully as she could.

"Teyla Emma McKay! Thank you, Lord, for letting me see," Aunt Grace said, and sort of lunged at Teyla, who caught her. "Bless you. You're an answer to my prayers, you are."

"Um," Rodney said, his eyes wide.

"It is all right," Teyla said loudly, looking at him. "I am happy to be Ro- Meredith's wife."

Jeannie snickered, and Randy rolled her eyes again. Ruth took another enormous puff.

"Oh, bless," Aunt Grace said, and Rodney, Ruth, and Randy maneuvered her into a rocking chair. She wore a long skirt, but Teyla could see her stockings were rolled down to her ankles.

Aunt Grace stared up at her. "The Lord works in mysterious ways," she announced to them. "I do believe he can take me now."

"Mother," Ruth said loudly. "I think everybody could use a nice cup of tea, don't you? Randy, will you watch her?"

"I'll make the tea," Randy offered, but Ruth glared at her, and she stayed with Aunt Grace, one hand on her shoulder.

Behind her, Teyla heard Madison whisper, "Mummy, can we go home now? It smells bad in here."

"Yes, please," Rodney whispered.

"Not till you've had your tea," Randy growled.

Teyla nodded. She approved. "Congratulations on reaching such an age," she said to Aunt Grace, bending to speak more clearly to her.

"It's a miracle!" Aunt Grace said, and sighed. "Lord, but you are beautiful. I don't believe we've ever had such a beautiful woman in the family. When did you and Meredith marry?"

Teyla remembered the coin toss the night before they first visited the Vedarans. "Almost nine months ago," she said. "Our friends John and Ronon were with us."

"Nine months! Oh," Aunt Grace said, her eyes sliding down to Teyla's mid-section. "Oh."

"Teyla," Rodney whispered, sounding panicked.

"Only nine months," Teyla said, enjoying herself more than she should. "We have our lives before us." Instantly, the look of gratitude on Aunt Grace's face her made her feel mean and petty. She took Grace's withered hands, the veins blue, the skin dry and slippery. "Meredith is a good man, Aunt Grace," she said clearly, looking into Grace's pale eyes. "I am honored to be his partner."

Grace beamed at her, and then at Rodney. "I _told_ your mother a good woman was all you needed, didn't I, Randy?"

"You sure did, Grandma." Then she mouthed at Teyla, "About a million times," and rolled her eyes again; Teyla wondered if that was a genetic trait in Rodney's family.

When Teyla straightened up, she caught sight of Jeannie's and Rodney's faces. To her surprise, Rodney gently took her elbow. "Thank you," he whispered.

 _What Would Have Been the Fourth Time_  
"The Vedarans," Ronon groaned.

"I'm not so wild about it myself," John said.

Elizabeth folded her hands and looked calmly at them. "The Vedarans have proven good friends and excellent sources of a number of items we need, including the _proumnon_ you enjoy so much baked in a pie."

John and Ronon glanced at each other. Teyla said, "We would be pleased to return, Elizabeth. They are a most welcoming people."

"Yeah," Rodney agreed. "They like us, too."

"They like _you_ ," John said, but Elizabeth looked at him, and he subsided.

Rodney looked at Teyla. "They like us," he said softly, and Teyla nodded.

"They like us," she agreed, and gently nudged her knee against Rodney's beneath the conference table.

 _And the One Time They Didn't_  
The next day, as they walked toward the village, toward where the KeVara waited, with John and Ronon walking slightly behind them, Teyla boldly took Rodney's hand. "Yes, what?" he asked, looking at her in surprise.

"I was remembering Aunt Grace," she said, "and how happy she was for you, and how happy the KeVara was for me."

"Um."

"It seems to me that we have been married on at least two worlds," she continued, ignoring the sniggering behind them.

"Um."

"Perhaps," she said, glancing over her shoulder to silence John and Ronon, "there is something you wish to say to me."

"Um," he said again, and then stopped. He looked at John first, his eyes wide, and then at Ronon, who crossed his arms and stared back.

John said, "Oh, for god's sake, Rodney." He nudged Ronon. "Come on. Let's give them some privacy."

Ronon continued to gaze steadily at Rodney for a minute more, and Teyla believed there was much conveyed in his look. Then he said, "Gotta piss," and followed John off the trail and into the bushes.

Rodney said, "Um," and drew her attention back to him. "Um, Teyla, I, are you asking -- We never, but I really, and oh, Teyla, are you sure?" She tilted her head and frowned at him. He inhaled deeply. "Teyla Emmagan," he began.

"I will," she interrupted him, and pulled him down for a kiss.

To her right, she heard John and Ronon's cheers, but she ignored them, and made sure that Rodney did, too. "They're just _jealous_ ," he whispered to her, kissing her ear, and hugged her tightly. "Why me? Was it really Aunt Grace?"

"Aunt Grace, yes," she said, "And your sister and niece. And the KeVara. And all the many miles we have traveled together. It is time, I believe, Rodney. Do you not agree?"

"Not agree?" he repeated, his eyes growing rounder. "If I, if I ever gave you that impression, then Teyla --" and then he kissed her, seriously, without the shyness he had always exhibited, and she smiled into his kiss.

"Your time would not be better spent elsewhere?" she teased him between kisses, but he only held her tighter.


End file.
